“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person…When someone is in your life for a REASON,it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.They have come to assist you through a difficulty;to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.They may seem like a godsend, and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be.” Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.”Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.”LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”— Unknown
I recently found this wee gem online and couldn’t believe how relevant it was to me at this time. It’s scary how true this is, that people are in your life for either a season, reason or a lifetime. I have people in my life that I either have, or its felt like, I’ve known them for a lifetime, people that continually teach me life lessons and are there when I need them. They act as lights in what can be a dark world.
I’ve also known people that have come in and out of my life and whatever form they’ve taken, they’ve taught me things that I needed to learn at that time. When they’ve left my life, it’s because I’ve needed to take something away from them, to learn something new about myself, about what I want, or where I’m going. This is a hard one to fathom; sometimes you don’t understand why certain people leave your life, it seems cruel, unfair and out of the blue. It takes ages for you to realise that they’re gone for a reason, and maybe you just haven’t learnt it yet.
Being the control freak I am, I have a consistent need to have ‘power’ in situations, for me to make decisions, to be in control. When I lose or don’t have said control, I can’t handle it. I feel anxious, uneasy and restless. Sure this is a bad habit, one that I’m working on, but I can’t help how I react. It’s because of this incessant desire to be in control that I find it difficult to move on and am in the constant search for closure. But the above quote makes so much sense and brings me to the realisation that closure is what you learn from the relationship, how its made you a better or different person. It’s not about the happy ending, it’s about finishing a chapter and starting a new one. Often we think that to get closure means for the other person to give it to them. This thinking screams disappointment, as you can’t control how others feel and act, you can only control how you react. When we stop looking for others to make things better, or for fairness to catch up and fix it for us, we can be free. People are going to fuck up, they’re going to hurt you, but if we look to those people to make things better, we’ll be looking forever, maybe the best type of closure is moving on and realising that you never needed closure at all.
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